God Awful

Have you ever watched the show Time Warp? It's perfect.  Seriously, genius.  The concept encompasses every bit of your imagination.  I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times a day I see things happen then think to myself "I wanna see that at 200 frames per second".  Just think, if you could  watch a squirrel destroy an acorn, up close, in super slow motion. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!  I always want to watch people fall down in super slow-mo also.  YOU KNOW people's faces give the funniest looks in the split second it take them to realize 'oh shit, there's not a step there' then scramble to brace themselves.  AND ITS A DOUBLE WIN if they break a bone in slow-mo.  I'd also like to see people who try to dodge a bee that's flying next to their face really slow motion.... actually, that one doesn't have to be slow-mo, I just really like watching people dodge and freak out due to insects.  Let's be honest people, it's a bee. It might sting, it might hurt, but you won't die. People go to war.  And if you're one of 'those people' who bitches about being deathly allergic to bee stings, I got two words for you: NATURAL SELECTION.

The other day my friends and I attended our first ever Roller Derby (and coincidentally our first ever Parkour Exposition).  It was pretty neat.  Some of the chicks are actually not bulldozers and are kinda cute, but in the end  I'm sure they're almost all playing for the other team.  Even tho I didn't know the rules, I still enjoyed hootin and hollerin about falling down and hair pulling.  PLUS I got a super yummy hot dog with Sauer Kraut and mustard.  It was delicious. OH! And I got a thunder stick. Needless to say, my friends and I know how to cause some ruckus. AND we know how to be pretty disrespectful since I'm 95% sure we moved our chairs to the wheelchair section and cut off the movie from the less than able bodied people... once again, Natural Selection.

The first bout was between the Texecutioners and the Cincinnati Black Sheeps.  Needless to say the Texexcutioners killed by over 100 points.  The second bout was between the Ramonas and the Heathers.  Even tho the Ramonas won, I'm still team Heather all the way ;-)

Sidenote: Whole Foods Market now offers Private Abortions.  I'm not sure if you buy abortion by the pound or in bulk, but I'm pretty sure if you tear out a coupon you can buy one get one free.  Be sure to shake well before using it, then refrigerate afterwards... you wouldn't want you abortion to spoil...

Who coined the term God Awful?  More importantly, why do people at my Catholic University who buy into that religious nonsense use the term?  I mean, break that term down for a second... God-Awful.  I motion that we only say Zach Awful from now on.  Lets see how well that catches on. You might say it because you see me as god, but I'm just convinced I'm awful.