Ponyfail

Have you ever watched put her hair up in a pony tail? It LOOKS easy, but I KNOW it's hard as shit to do.  When I was in middle school and wanted to flirt with a girl in class I'd always ask to put her hair up for her and thought I could be all smooth with it... wrong. It always failed and I found out quickly that it's hard to get a chick to like you after you pull her hair.  I guess it's like a right of passage for girls; once you can make a pony tail then you get to decide if you like boys or girls. (Because let's be honest, there are only 2 types of pontails:  The cute ones that girls wear with a sundress and make your heart melt, or the big thick long ones that are tied up for softball practice and so it doesn't fly around when she drives around in her oversized truck with the windows down blasting 'hard rock'... you know what they're called).  I can't totally hate on the pony tail though, since I always wanted to sport on for myself.  But my mom said it would make me look like a menace so instead I ended up looking like this in 8th grade....

Hardest kid at Youth Group....

Just got back from Nebraska... It sucked. Seriously, if you're from a small town I pity you. But Wayne, NE was a CERTAIN KIND of small town. Most small towns have like a Walmart and a Bowling Ally and are within a decent driving distance of a substantial city.  Wayne had NOTHING! Everyone there seemed worn out and weird, and the entire town stretched an unfathomable 12 blocks.  That's always been a fear of mine, that for some reason I get moved to a super tiny town where everyone knows my name and business.  I'd be creeped out to think I knew every single person at my school and they knew me.  You think small town kids ever just say "fuck it, let's have an orgy" since they're all dating one another anyways?  What do they do for fun? Set things on fire, shoot guns, and masturbate.  Thats about all I could think of that they have to do.  I'm so glad to be home and away from people who've never seen a tattoo that wasn't done on their couch.  I don't get how people can immediately tell "OH! You're not from around here!" .... what gave it away? My basic knowledge and common sense?  Or was it the fact that I don't wear wranglers all day everyday?  Small towns are like visiting terminally ill person's house.  You want to stop by and experience it them for a short period of time just you can say you did and 'made a memory' or something stupid that helps you sleep at night, but the truth is you fucking hate it and want to leave as quickly as you can because it smells funny, there's nothing good to eat, you're depressed the entire time, and in the back of your mind you know it's only a matter of time before everyone forgets it and moves on.  

School is getting tough and busy, not to mention I've got a lot of extra curricular functions that are coming up. BUT! I will make a valiant effort to post more so you kids have something to read when you take your laptops with you when you poop.  Here is something that helped lighten my day last week. It was a conversation between myself and my pal Andrew. Lemme know if you concur with our outlooks on life...

I sent him a pic of the chicks and their lunches... all I do is creep. 

Life... it's very long.