Define Dirty

It's Friday, I ain't got no job (in Austin), I ain't got shit to do! ...... Except slave to my laundry room.  I hate washing clothes so much!  It's such a hassle.  I'm not a girl, but I own a lot of clothes.  Thus, I make the mistake of burning through a good solid 3 weeks of clothing until I'm left with one pair of briefs and a crusty tanktop. Then it's time to do laundry. BUT WHY?!?! What makes pants 'dirty'?  I'm not out there rolling around in dirt or giving lap dances to junkies.  I just wear them to school and sit my ass in the same desk as everyone else.  And if my statistics are correct that the St. Edwards girl to guy ratio is 7 to 2, AND if stereotypes exist leaving girls to be way more hygenic and clean than boys, how is sitting around after them getting my jeans nasty?  Even if I sit after a guy, chances are he was gay, which makes him just as clean (if not cleaner) than a girl.  [Keep in mind there is no negative connotation there against the homosexual community.  I support them in every way.  If you told me I never had to deal with periods, emotions, constant complaining, insecurity, jealousy, lack of physical ability, double standards, and annoying pointless stories ever again, I'm pretty sure I could handle shopping at Nordstroms and listening to t.A.T.u. for the rest of my life]  And so what if I 'wear that jacket everyday'. It's comfortable and warm.  I'm not going to wash it and lose a day of wearing it for risk of getting a watch tanline.  And I don't care about how dirty my underwear are, I'm not changing them for 3 days. That's just how I roll.  It only gets funky and stinky down there when "all these bitches crawl".

I love kids.  I'm not going to deny that I wanna be a dad RIGHT NOW!  I know it's no time in my life to reproduce, but the thought of hanging out with a baby dude that looks like me all day drops a smile on my face.  I always want to make some extra cash babysitting, but found out quickly that its creepy having a grown man with tattoos and a super skeezy mustache asking to watch someone's kids.  It's a shame all those perverts out there ruin the reputation for respectable people like myself.  So if any of you guys know anyone that needs a babysitter you should let me know.  I'm always down for frozen pizza, Pixar movies, and an early bed time. AND I PROMISE I WON'T PEE ON YOUR KIDS OR ANYTHING WEIRD THAT LIKE! That's why I had to get a job at the YMCA, so I could hangout with people who share the same views on freeze-pops and moonbounces as I do.

See that little boy in the bottom right? His name is Tucker (age 6) and he sports a sweet mullet. No joke, him and I high fived over 60 times that day.  He's on my level! (Except for the fact that I had to help him tie his shoes)

Got state championship game this weekend. If we win, we've completely dominated the state of Texas in Rugby and get to move on to Nebraska for nationals.  Stomach is turning over every minute, but I thrive on it.  Super stoked to do something great with my life.  If you guys get a chance, be out at Burr Field in Austin, TX by 2pm Saturday afternoon.  I can PROMISE you there will be blood and victory.

I am the epitome of hatred.