Carson Daily

Remember when you were younger and super stoked to see the new "Making the Video" on MTV?  Like when Christina Aguilera made the video for 'Dirty' and she was basically naked and sweaty with a bunch of dirtbikers and Redman was rapping?  Probably one of the first chubbies I ever got while listening to music (besides when I heard "Higher" by Creed for the first time).  MTV used to be the shit. I was obsessed with music videos.  When I saw the video for "My Friends Over You" by New Found Glory, I fell in love.  Another music video that got me? "My name is" by the ever famous Slim Shady.  TRL was amazing.  Carson Daily was the biggest bad ass of afternoon TV.  He got to hangout with 98 Degrees, look out his big glorious window over time square and rub it in the face of all those gargoyle chicks who he didn't allow inside for the actual taping of his show, and had the power to cut off anyone he chose while they were halfway through a shout-out to their friends back home.  Then every summer he got to move his studio to a giant stage in the center of a pool (that was for some reason on the beach.... not sure why you needed a pool on the beach but Carson demanded it) and stay there for 8 weeks while TLC performed "Scrubs" everyday until they got knocked off the top spot. PLUS! Whenever he didn't feel like doing his super easy job, he could sub in a hot ass british chick to do it for him.  And there were always quick cutaways to "MTV News" where Sway (aka that short dude with the bad dreads and oversized beanie who talked with that poorly faked harlem accent).  Without those bits I would have never known that Kid Rock beat the shit out of someone at a Waffle House. It always annoyed me that they didn't play the entire music video tho.  They would come in at the first chorus then maybe lead us up to the bridge before they ducked out.  Didn't they understand that the "Stacy's Mom" music video wasn't worth it unless you got to see it start to finish?!

Today I was in a music video.  I can't explain the details entirely, but some good friends of mine are in a badass pop punk band called THIEVES and are making a music video.  I'm playing a cool guy.  It's gunna be great, so keep posted and I'll make you aware of my performance once the video drops.  

Just give it up. 

Do me a solid?

Upon further investigation, I have learned that when my truck got broken into they also took my CD case with all my CD's in it.  I had a GREAT collection of  CD's in there.  I guess it's kind of re assuring that New Found Glory is one of the greatest bands of all time because the NFG greatest hits CD that I made myself was the only one left in my truck.  BUT I HAVE A PLAN! Instead of working on starting over the greatest CD collection of all time, I'm going to take a different route.  If you're reading this and want to do something unique, fun, and helpful, you should help me out.  I would like you to burn me a MIX CD of either music you love to listen to or music you think I would enjoy.  It will be awesome.  You guys can put whatever you want on there.  Just make like a 20 song CD of the best you got. I'll take anything.  THEN! You gotta get in touch with me to give it to me.  You can give it to me in person if you see me on a regular basis (or if you wanna make the effort to meet up with me), or you can mail it to me :

625 E. Stassney Lane

Apt. #5210

Austin, TX 78745

Feel free to include a little note and track listing if you'd like, but most importantly just let me know who it is sending it to me.  FINALLY, I will post a review about the CD you've made me.  I'll let you know how good/bad/ugly/dance it was.  Please help me out guys, this could be a lot of fun for both of us.  Thanks for everyone who reads this and decides to participate.  

He laid emeralds in her eyes,

But I’d already tried a bracelet made of gold

And a scarlet thread around her wrist.

Everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs.

"oh how seldom we belong but how elegant our kiss."

We painted crooked lines

But danced in perfect time to a love so much refined,

We know not what it is until like a dullen wine we pour into a grief known before

But never quite like this.

All I know now is regret,

It follows like a silhouette along the cobbelstone behind us,

But has nothing to say except to innocently ask,

Its voice delicate as glass,

"do you see me when we pass? "

But I continue on my way... 

Grape Kool-Aid

Would you rather have a permanent Grape Kool-Aid Mustache?  Or have permanent Dorito residue on your finger tips?  I'm gunna go the with flavored mustache on this one.  I just feel like having a blonde mustache is getting to popular, and to branch out into the field of trendy facial hair I'll need a new angle.  Plus I love making out, so this way I can share the love of high fructose corn syrup and sugar with all the ladies.  I also think I'd attract a lot of black girls, to which I wouldn't be complaining because then my life would be a constant Yin-Yang Twinz music video.  (If you think that last assumption is racist then YOU'RE racist, not me)

In case you guys haven't heard, I got my truck broken into and my wallet and one of my ipods stolen (Yes, I had two Ipods.  I got them both myself. Haters gonna hate.)  It sucks, but life goes on.  Cancelling a credit card and debit card is really tough because I don't have very good phone etiquette.  I don't have a drivers license or student ID anymore, and getting those replaced will be a bitch as well. Also, I'm down $43 and a bunch of cards for free burritos, wings, and burgers from all over the place.  Someone hit the jackpot and I hope you're enjoying yourself. I AIN'T EVEN MAD THO!  I think the funniest part is that they took my bobble head Jesus.  Where did he go?  What are they doing with him?  What if he's blindfolded on someone else's dashboard being forced to listen to Marcy's Playground and second hand smoke K2?  Hopefully he can hold his own.  According to the bible, he should be back in 3 days right?

I'm not going to lie, I have no doubt in my mind that this is all due to Karma. We live in a world of hate, a cold angry world that is full of people looking out for themselves.  But here's how I plan on looking at it. Most people see Karma as in "I did something bad now something bad is happening to me". NOT ME! The way I see it, something bad happened to me, so It's my turn to bring the hate. Starting with tonight's Ice Cream eating contest at school. I'm going to take away anyone's hopes or dreams of winning, because I'm knocking back that 2 gallon bucket like a pro.  Watch your back FCA.  'God' can't help you on this one.

Side note, for all you kids out there who are looking for new jams, checkout my buddy's in HANDGUNS.  They just dropped a new EP and it's legit. But don't forget the old stuff, cuz without a doubt one of the top 10 most essential Pop Punk Records (in my opinion) is this one...

Anywhere But Home

Girl Talk

This semester has been great so far. I've done some fun new things, met some cool people, and there's more on the agenda in the upcoming weeks.  Needless to say it requires a lot of interaction with people.  The main one at focus is boys and girls.  Everyone around me is hooking up or breaking up.  But at what cost?  College is in some ways one giant talent show.  It's all fake and rehearsed, and people only act a certain way to get someone in bed.  I just want to meet cool people who can get along with me and have a good time.  Unlike most guys, I'm not a total buzzkill if I get somewhere and it's a "sausage fest".  I'm not gay, I just know how to make conversation universally.  But even after all these positive thoughts and chin-up views, I'm still getting the could shoulder and judged.  So as a laugh to all their faces via this blog (because I know if I said this in person I'd be either too cruel or too sarcastic to be invited back anywhere ever again) I'm just going to fire off my thoughts and responses to what "people" say and think about me:

-No, I won't shave my mustache. I don't care how gross it looks, its fun to play with in class. 

-You're tattoos don't matter to me, and mine aren't here to impress you.  It's a shark on Roller Skates... it means nothing. Sorry you were looking for me to be deeper. 

-Sorry if you thought I was 'flirting' with you and wanted something serious, I was just being nice and having conversation.  Next time I'll try not to be so comforting and easy to get along with, maybe then you'll get the picture I don't want in your pants.

-Oh, you think I'm scary and intimidating? I look mean all the time?  That's just my face haha. Trust me, if you took the time to get to know me I'm not hurtful.  

-I get it, nice guys finish last.  But you'll come back crying when he lets you down and I'm still here opening doors for you and holding your things. (Doesn't mean you're welcome back though)

-Really? It's that hard to just get lunch with me? Dang, I didn't know it was such a burden to accept a free meal and some small talk.  

-Nope, I'm not "hardcore". I'm Zach Chad. I don't wear a label, do you?

-"You're not like any other guy I know or talk to, It's refreshing :)" ....[Makes out with flat billed hat dude in the corner and acts like we've never met when he walks up]

-I'm not sure what brochure they sent you in the mail when you got accepted, but mine didn't say anything about "all college kids smoke weed, how the fuck do you come here and not try weed?"

-Hahaha, you think I'm a dork and a loser?  Didn't mean to give you the time of day. Won't make that mistake again.

-I'm sorry if it's weird to you that I don't drink.  Is it really that creepy that I made a decision for myself to live the life that's right for me? I'm not 'the sober guy' because I have bad intentions like taking advantage of drunk girls or trying to be a smartass to everyone, because I don't do anything but make sure you get home safe and you're taken care off. And I sure as hell will not change who I am and what I believe because it would make you look my way.  Who cares if it's lame of me and I'm no fun cuz I didn't join that round of shots.  You don't know me or what I've been through.  Just remember one thing when you think you have me 'figured out'...

WE AIN'T THE SAME. YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN. 

On another note, my rugby team just finished our season in first place over the state of Texas.  It's record breaking for our program and our school.  Many hard post season games ahead, but I'm ready for every bit of it. We're on our way to Nebraska and Virginia Beach.  You only wish you were a part of something this big.

S.E.U. R.F.C.    The Rams are here. 

Wednesdays Suck

Wednesday nights are soo boring! Everyone has class early Thursday morning so they don't want to do anything fun. What's fun you ask? Oh IDK, just off the top of my head: Get ice cream, play Mario Kart Wii,  go see NeverSayNever, go to that Wednedsay Night Dubstep Club that I hear so much about, I'm even down to get together and color.  Nothing says friends like drawing dinosaurs with crayons. Too many people are scared to stay up late and have a little fun.  So what if you are tired and sleep for your 8 a.m. class! You're going to be tired everyday ever for the rest of your life because anything other than staying in your bed in the morning SUCKS!  Also, there are such things as naps.  Not only do they rule, but they're a great way to get out of doing shit you don't want to do.  And I'm pretty sure most people have figured this out, because there's no reason why so many people blow me off for lunch dates and bike rides. "Hey, you wanna go get some lunch around 2?" [No response for several hours] "Aww my bad, I was taking a nap :/"   No one has ever gotten in trouble for taking a nap.  And if your professor asks you to please not sleep in their class, just say "Sorry! Zach Chad kept me up too late" Then they can take it up with me and I will explain to them why putting shit into the microwave to see what happens to it (I.e. chip bags shrink, marshmellows get HUGEE) was way more important than going to sleep at a reasonable time on a Wednesday night.

 I never understood for the longest time why they called it 'Hump Day'. I used to think it meant it's one of those not so famous national holidays (like Arbor Day) where you just hump people all day instead of like hugging them or shaking hands.  Sadly, not until recently was it explained to me that it's only called that cuz it's in the middle of the week (like a camel's back I guess) and every day from here until sunday is downhill and easier?  I still think it should mean what I originally thought it did...

ALSO! I got a new phone.

HTC Evo

Turns out I was due for an upgrade so breaking my phone and getting this one was cheaper than paying insurance to replace my old one. So if any of you are on 4G droid and wanna text, send pics, or play fun games together, lemme know and I'll participate in the longest scrabble game of your life. (I make 1 move a day...maybe)

Kiss Me

It's Valentines Day! I know you're all excited. Even if you don't have a partner or a date or a valentine, you should still make the best of it! This is a special day meant for people to take someone they seemingly care about out for something nice and buy them something cute and meaningful.  But the thing is if you rush out and last minute find someone to spend the day with so you can make a quick memory, you're wasting your time AND money! Today is a day about appreciating what you have, not envying what you don't.  I don't have a valentine, and I'm all good with that. I got a 6 page research paper due tomorrow on the contrasts between the Japanese and Western business cultures, so Microsoft Word, Pandora, and Cheeze-Itz are my valentine.  Even if I did have a girlfriend, it's not like I'd go ALL OUT for Valentines Day.  I mean, normally they take up all my time and money everyday, so February Fourteenth doesn't make it any different. What's that saying? "Girls are like condoms; they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick"

For all you single ladies and gents out there, keep your chin up.  Here's the ultimate test to see if you're depressed about valentines day and you being alone:

If any of those videos made you sad and wish you had someone to kiss and cuddle with on this 2/14, you fail.  There is no need to rush out and randomly text your ex girlfriend to banter about 'the good ol' times' and seeing if you can scrap up a last minute coffee date.  There is no need to start chatting with random people on FB Chat seeing if they are down to 'get together and watch a movie' cuz you're 'bored'.  It's just ONE NIGHT! You're little feelings of sadness will go away by tomorrow, and anything you irrationally start today will sure as hell not feel the same once everyone goes back to complaining about being in a relationship.

Love is the toughest thing to understand... but it will knock you off your feet when you find it. 

OH! AND SOME ADVICE FOR YOU LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS!!  If you're trying to think of something your valentine would like, I'd say go for homemade.  Get some markers, glue, and popsicle sticks, you'd be surprised what you come up with.  It's not about the most expensive jewelry or chocolates, it's about what she likes that only you can get her, something sentimental.

Pocket Watch

Upon arriving home from CiCi's for lunch, where I annihilated the cinnamon rolls, I received a text message from someone whom I believed to be a very good friend of mine.. I was mistaken.  After replying, I reached down and put my phone back in my backpocket... or so I thought. I missed my pocket and it slide down my ass then smashed on the concrete.  Thanks a lot PERSON WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS for breaking my phone. Yeah, I'm the kinda guy who will blame other people for little shit I did wrong.  Big mistakes I will own up to, but there is no sense in soiling my own name when I can convince everyone that the person who put on a god awful Sublime song is the reason why I missed our exit.  

Cell Phones all around annoy me. They never seem to work right, are always slow, and the battery dies super fast.  Plus, no matter how much you spend on one, they come out with a better one in 3 weeks.  I'm tired of people fighting over Android or Iphone being the better phone operating system thing, because in the end everyone is going to find a way to play scrabble during class.  Yeah, they might be convenient for your twitter, but lets be honest, the only reason you want tweets to your phone is because you don't get to have actual conversations that mean something, so you fake like you care what Chamillionaire just tweeted just so that you don't have to make eye contact with homeless people at stop lights.  But the majority of us only use our phone for one sole purpose 80% of the day; to check the time.  Cell Phones are basically on giant, inconvenient, rechargeable pocket watch.  BUT NOT ME! I've been sporting a wrist watch all day everyday since day one.  And for everyone who thinks it's lame (i.e. the girl last semester who told me she thought only middle schoolers wore digital watches) the joke is on you.  Next time you're swimming in the pool and wondering if it's time for King of Queens to come on,  don't look to me for help.  I keep my wrist knowledge all to myself. 

.......Chris Box

I will cry.

I've decided that if there is any celebrity death that will cause me to shed a tear, it will be the death of Bill Murray. I've grown up with him! Ghostbusters, Space Jam, Osmosis Jones, The Royal Tenenbaums, Charlies Angels, The Darjeeling Limited, Fantastic Mr. Fox, BILL MURRAY IS THE GREATEST! He's what makes a movie a classic.  I'm just glad it was fake when that stupid worthless Michael Cera/Andy Samberg crossbreed killed him in Zombieland.  That dude  is ugly and a horrible actor.  Lets be honest, in real life Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray would have tag teamed a smack down on his candy ass.  On that note, I would like someone to screen me a sweatshirt with a screen shot of Bill Murray in The Life Aquatic, REALLY BIG on the front.

Mike and I at the Toros game

Last night I got 4 free tickets to the San Antonio Spurs NBA D-League basketball game (AKA The Austin Toros). It was badass. My first basketball game ever. Can't beat free parking, free tickets, and free Outkast songs to dance too during Time-Outs. Also, there was a black family sitting behind us who were into the music just as much as I was, especially their little boy. It's not up for discussion: Little black boys are the cutest things in the world. They are always so curious about everything, down to dance, and get REALLY excited when you try to high five them! One thing I don't understand though, is why parents think their kids want to take a picture with a mascot.  It's a giant animal that moves and doesn't talk... I'm 19 and that's still pretty creepy, plus I'm as big as most mascots. Being 1/8th their size and not having control over being picked up by them must be horrifying.  And when the kids starts crying and trying to run away, it doesn't mean drag them back for round two. No amount of high pitched babble is going to get them to smile for the picture.  When I have kids, I will only take the most artistic photos of them. I'm talking about an entire coffee table photo album of my little son/daughter re-enacting creed cover albums and staring deeply off into sunsets and puddles.... and always wearing light-up sketcher shoes. 

Why you mad tho?

This goes out to sports fans. Not ALL sports fans, just that ones you wish fell into a meat grinder. I went to the Houston Aeros vs Texas Stars with my hockey crew. Obviously we went for the Aeros, because they rule. Unfortunately, the Cedar Park Center couldn't grasp the concept that the opposing team has fans! And it didn't help that my team won 4-1, won every fight that happened in the game, AND my crew got free mighty fine burgers, gatorade, and a giant chocolate strawberry.

H.A.H.C.

BUT! As we were leaving, a couple Brodouches were not very happy with us, so they decided to start a fight right in the middle of the arena! Cussing, pushing and shoving, tensions were HIGH! Security broke it up and walked us out, but that didn't solve the problem at hand. NO ONE SHOULD TAKE THEIR TEAM LOSING THAT SERIOUS! First of all, it's not 'your team'. You don't play for them, and you probably never will do anything remotely athletic in your life. You just wear that affliction shirt because you like reading wikipedia pages on UFC fighters to have something to talk about at Buffalo Wild Wings that night.  Also, anything that happens in a sports designated area, should REMAIN THERE! I can't stand going to the movies wearing an Oakland Raiders shirt and having to wait 3 minutes to get my ticket cuz the cashier dude wants to give a speech about their shitty record and how some other team is better. NO ONE CARES! It'd be cool to say that my fantasy football team is winning some fake competition, but at the same time it wouldn't be, because girls actually like me and I wouldn't want to give that up.  And last but not least, I hate to say it, but these dudes decided to pick a fight (one that they would obviously lose) OVER A MINOR LEAGUE HOCKEY TEAM!!! That's like a sophomore frat dude trying to start a fight with anyone who talks shit about his highschool girlfriend. Swallowing Pride means nothing to him, cuz he still gets head once a month when her parents let her take the car to come visit him.  Someone really needs to remind these dudes of one thing... HOCKEYTOWN. 

Maple Syrup

Would you rather: Sweat white wine or cry maple syrup? I chose maple syrup, because every time I watch one of those "donate money to animal shelters" commercials with the Sara McLaughlin I IMMEDIATELY want waffles afterwards.

I don't get how people are getting 'sick'.  Sick is for when you need mom's permission to not go to school because you didn't do the assigned reading for 'The Giver' that you've known about for a week, and you want an excuse to stay home and masturbate. Sometimes I don't feel well, but I just take a shit and fall asleep, then I feel good as new.  The ironic part is how people are so concerned with keeping up with their health and cleanliness, but yet they always end up with the flu or a fever or some other bullshit self diagnosed problem. MEANWHILE I share silverware and dishes, eat everyones leftovers, stay up late and have a piss poor sleeping schedule, and I'd be lying if I said I wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom (It's my dick, I know where it's been and I know how clean it is), but I wake up every morning feeling totally fine and stoked as fuck to start my day.

OTTER failed.  I ended up throwing out the entire lab this morning.  Needless to say I've accepted the fact that my future has no plans for being a scientist. Bill Nye 1 - Zach Chad 0. Guess I should have given him more credit for all those years of watching his shitty "DID YOU KNOW THAT!" Facts during recess on rainy days.  BUT I PROMISED A BACK UP PLAN! And I've decided to tackle Engineering. I figure if every idiot at Texas aTm who's parents decided their futures for them can do it, so can I. My first project:

Civil War Puzzle

Already got the border solved.

Don't mind the piece of paper in the middle, its taped down to cover the round umbrella hole in the center of the table. Why is there a round umbrella hole in the center of my table you might ask? Because I stole my kitchen table and chairs from a patio set at a restaurant the week before I moved into my apartment.... No Remorse.

Super Bowl Funday

Lets be honest. If your party has to have some form of disclaimer like "strict guest list for guys will be enforced"... you were a virgin in high school.  If you are actually good at being personable, charming, and charismatic, having a bunch of dudes hanging out at your party isn't going to slim your chances of getting some girls number.  But chances are you're not, so you rely on your fake greek brotherhood to back you up when you stand at the door and tell some guy he can't come in but the 4 girls he drove are going to come inside and party, but "don't worry, you can come pick them up later if they want to leave". FOR THE RECORD this did not happen to me haha. That was just based on stories I've heard and facebook event invites I've seen.  I'm lucky enough to hangout with people who don't worry about getting their dicks wet all the time and just want to see everyone having a good time. Thus, we dance our asses off for 5 hours.

Yesterday I made homemade Ice Cream. 

Mixing it, then I put it in the freezer

Then I get to wake up to Mixed Berry
and Cinnamon Bun Ice Cream

OTTER is slowly but looking like a failed attempt. I guess I should have actually believed them when they said it only works when you use bottled water. BUT DON'T WORRY! I've got a back up plan to update you guys on my boredom progression. You will be impressed without a doubt.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. I have an indoor soccer game so I can't watch the entire game, but I'll catch the second half. Bottom line is I wanna gamble. Someone get at me and lets bet. I'm not worried about scores or points or shit like that. Just straight up, I got 3 bucks on the Steelers. Someone oppose me.

Shakemaster

This update goes out to Marge (aka THE SHAKEMASTER) at the Steak'n'Shake by my apartment.

Last night I danced. Dudes at the party who didn't dance, honestly, it sucks to be you. No girl cares about how good you are at beer pong, or if you "don't give a shit, I'm 21. I'll look that cop right in the eyes and take a shot".      What women really want is a dude who can stomp and whomp on the dance floor. 

After breakin a sweat, a couple of us headed to Steak'n'Shake where my perception of the establishment completely changed. YO LARRY FROM THE CYPRESS STEAK'N'SHAKE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU SHOULD SET YOURSELF ON FIRE YOU MISERABLE DICK.  The service was awesome, everything tasted amazing, and we got to meet THE SHAKEMASTER MARGE! I She hooked it up with a Turtle Caramel Nut shake. The only thing I'm left to wonder is that I know what a nut is, and I know what Caramel is.  But it begs the question... what the fuck is turtle and why is it in my shake?  Did the turtle have a name? What was the turtles zodiac sign? Did it's sign change when my next door neighbor's people goofed up on that calendar they've been boasting about for centuries? 

While I was leaving, I discovered that the glass to the crane game was unlocked...

OTTER success level is at about a 2 out of 10 {1/5 for you mathletes)  I'm worried that the cold is just too harsh for these little dudes to hatch from their eggs.  On the plus side, if they die, I can work on swallowing my pride by admitting that I'm a failed Biologist/Father.  

Snow Day.

OTTER is underway.  I officially have a lab setup in my closet. 

Not only will I be testing to see if I can raise a batch of prehistoric life forms under extreme conditions, I will also be seeing if proxemics between Triops and hardcore band T-shirts progresses or stunts their growth... Does this mean they will grow up straight edge?

It snowed last night.  After sliding my truck all over the road to get to Wataburger at midnight (cuz homeboy needed a honey butter chicken biscuit) I stayed up fairly late watching a very confusing movie called Dreamcatcher and witnessing the snow slowly cover my apartment complex.. I don't have any cool pictures of me making snow angels or molding snowman dicks out of slush, because I chose to sleep in. I hope that you all lose your fingers to frostbite and wreck your parents cars into guardrails and into ditches. 2011: Winter of Hate.

It starts.

To start this blog off, I will be making frequent updates about a recent care program that I have adopted called Operation Triop: True, Extreme, Righteous.  (aka OTTER) 


Starting on this cold, slightly snowy Thursday, I will be resurrecting these 'extinct' creature back to live in my apartment bedroom. Stay tuned for updates on OTTER as well  as my daily rants and raves.