Put me down

POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOOWPOWPOWPOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I downloaded "Flockaveli" (for those of you who don't know, it's the Wacka Flocka Flame album)... changed my life.  It's so good! No one has ever given themselves as many shout outs in the history of hype.  First of all, every rhyme doesn't ACTUALLY rhyme with a clever word or lyric, he just ends every line with "nigga" so it all ties together in the end.  THEN! When he runs out of thought, he just syncronically yells "WOCKA! FLOCKA! WOCKA! FLOCKA!" .... It's genius. You can't deny ladies, "this yo jam".  All I have to say is "LISTEN TO THIS TRACK BITCH!"

School is tearing me apart.  All of the sudden it has gotten hard as hell.  There really isn't a need to write 7-9 pages about some communication theory that I will never practice in real life, kind of like how there isn't a need to give me the option of  "7-9 pages"... I'm going to choose 7. ACTUALLY, I'm going to choose 5 1/2 pages and just change the size of my punctuations.  Sometimes assignments in college just seem pointless because I'd rather see a more hands on example than write a paper to pretend like I know what I'm talking about.  And group projects don't necessarily help the situation, they just give me a safety net in case I forget to do something or it starts getting too confusing to complete.  Unfortunately my Nonverbal Communication professor felt the need to assign the best of both worlds, so I have a 2-part major grade due at the end of April. I have to write a 5-7 page paper AND do a group presentation about my experiences (somehow in correlation with the course's actual curriculum) while working a minimum of 3 hours a week for the next month at any non-profit organization of my choice. I'm sorry to those of you who enjoy volunteering and feeling good about yourself, but I just don't have it in me to help out others when I'm struggling myself.  I get that people want to help out at animal shelters, and kudos for you. But I worked at a vet clinic for 3 years... animals suck. Love them to death from a distance, but I have a hard time getting emotional because some cat was neglected.  For every cat that dies.... theres 17 more roaming the streets within a 2 mile radius.  The cat population will be fine, so I don't need to waste time and money on making sure they find food.  Same with helping the homeless. HOW IS NOT RAISING ANY MONEY GOING TO HELP THESE PEOPLE?! "I do it out of the goodness of my heart!" Good for you... I call my grandma on her birthday. That's about all my goodness for old smelly people. Why on earth you would want to make sure some crazy dirty fuck-up (whom you don't care about and probably don't even know their real name) gets fed is beyond me.  It's not like homeless life is THAT hard.  Half of you get drunk and pass out wherever you fall down and sleep there while peeing on yourself anyways. The only difference between you and them is your parents let you shop at Brooks Brothers. No one REALLY enjoys doing non-profit work.  They just want to look like a good person for a second to compensate for the fact that they're materialistic and selfish in their day to day life.  Be honest with yourself: YOU DON'T FIND JOY IN HELPING TERMINALLY ILL PATIENTS! If you do, then props on being sick in the head yourself.  That shit is depressing.  You think these people really want your 'volunteer' help with changing their diapers because they're so old they can't function on their own?!  No. When I get that old or that sick and  I'm no longer independent, you better feed me to a live bear and take all my shit.  I'm serious, put me down.  I don't need you spending your time helping me walk through my own house or making me food when I could just as easily be dead and you could have a REAL job making money and supporting your own loved ones.  "Survival of the fit; only the strong survive"

But in all seriousness people... Happy Caturday. 

Skinvisible

Would you rather have invisible skin, or see the entire world as if there was a constant strobe light on?  I'm going to go with invisible skin on this one.  If everything was blinking like a strobe light I would not only be falling down every set of stairs, but I would be forced to start grinding on people and dancing all over once I got into like a movie theater or somewhere that is dark.  The only time that could come in handy is when I didn't want to tuck my kids into bed or whenever some stupid girl want's me to walk her to her car in a shady part of town late at night.  Invisible skin would be better because I'll know exactly how big my stomach is (assuming I have absolutely no abdominal muscles). Question: Do you still get to have tattoos on invisible skin?  Technically it's still skin, so yes.  But what pigment are the muscles and body fat? Would the tattoos show?  Anatomical Science.... how does that work.

I don't like people who hold grudges.  Let me rephrase that: Go fucking kill yourself.  It's stupid and life is too short.  So what if someone 'betrayed' you... Half of you are in high school, so anything someone could have done to you is not serious at all.  No one is allowed to have problems over material things when your parents are paying for everything and driving you everywhere. Stop bitching about who did what at the party over the weekend, because you all had to have your mom's car home by midnight and you all freaked out when someone said the word "cop".    "He said, she said" drama is not worth your time because someone is ALWAYS going to be saying something about you.  I can sleep comfortably tonight knowing atleast 30 people are bad mouthing me right now. AND I'M COOL WITH THAT, because sucks to you missing out on a great friendship we could have.  You'll never get to take me to lunch or make me a mix CD.  And so what if someone 'stabbed your back'. (and jesus christ do I wish someone would ACTUALLY stab someones back that I know)  It's called a motive, and they probably had a good one.  I give minor shit about 4 days before I say fuckit and get back to hugging.  Especially now that we're all older and graduated from HS.  WHO CARES if someone talked to your ex boyfriend after you back in 11th grade.  I knew a kid who wanted to start mad drama back in the day because his girlfriend's new boyfriend was in all honest way cooler than him.  He spent so much time hating and bad mouthing her while trying to start shit and fight the new guy that he didn't focus on his own life and progressing new relationships and having fun... then his sister died in a car wreck.  So let that be a lesson.  Another thing that pisses me off is when a group of people can't get together and have a good time because one person has problems with another.  STOP WHISPERING IT TO ME AND CONFRONT THEM ABOUT IT!  Nine times out of Ten it's going to end in an apology and putting it behind you.  AND EVEN IF YOU GET THAT ONE OFF TIME, it's still cool cuz I get to watch you both come up with stupid comebacks and halfwit remarks  while fighting off the urge to fight each other (cuz let's be honest, you're all pussies and wouldn't have the balls to hit someone if you really wanted to).  All I'm saying is we should all assess our grudges on petty things and think about if it's really worth it to lose a friend or acquaintance just because one time they were in the same car as your ex.  Embrace the friendships you have now, cuz we are all going to die alone.  OH! And if you reading this personally (or know someone) who has a problem with me and refuses to like me or be my friend, please confront me about it because I will be very understanding and we can talk about this. I'm pretty sure I had a good reason for doing whatever it was I did to you. (Unless that thing was making fun of you at some point in time... I won't apologize for that, you should just not get butt hurt over your TOMS and Hot Topic shirts.)

Talk to you later chumps. 

Spring Break Part 2

I'm BACK! It's been a hell of a week, and none of you were really a part of it, but I'll fill you in on a little bit since we last caught up.  I saw KISS at the rodeo. So much rock.  I didn't think that much face paint and wrangler jeans could be in the same room.  Not to mention that many explosions. Now I understand why so many people feared KISS and why they created MATMOK (If you don't know what MATMOK is, watch Detroit Rock City and go get laid).  HAVE YOU SEEN GENE SIMMONS?!?! He's seriously 104 years old...  Sickest tongue I've ever seen. There was an intense amount of 'rock on' devil horns tho, so I dealt with the cow-bro's smoking a fat joint behind me.

SXSW was great. Loved every second of it. Wouldn't change a second. Not going to get into play by play, but here are some of the bands I saw:
        Balance and Composure, The Flatliners, Motionless In White, Title Fight, Within The Ruins, The Red Chord, The Acacia Strain, Bowling For Soup, Magrudergrind, Lemuria, Touche Amore, Ringworm, Thieves, Such Gold, and The Almost.

My apartment got wrecked by all 12 stinky people who stayed there.  Thanks to everyone who left me your boxers and phone chargers.  We played our showcase and it was a blast. Alot of people came out to watch AND Vitamin Water sponsored so we got all the free V2O we wanted. I owe you one 50cent.

Why do people complain about good times?  Lets be honest, you're not going to be doing anything else more fun at the moment, so what does it matter that you're waiting in line with your friends for a band you don't really wanna see? There is no point in 'tweeting' about it because (aside from the fact I don't have twitter so I won't see your crying) everyone is most likely going to make fun of you as soon as they read it.  Twitter should be strictly reserved for Tosh.0, all the bands I like, and Rebecca Black.  There is no reason you should put on a fake smile and act like your having a blast, then hide behind your phone and truely spill that you would "really rather be somewhere else" followed by some melo-dramatic hashtag. Grow a pair and voice your opinion, I do it everyday! DEAR WORLD, I DON'T LIKE ODD FUTURE, TYLER THE CREATOR IS ALL HYPE AND IT IS STUPID, AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE FINDING FOOD THAN STAND AROUND TO WATCH SOME DGK RIPOFF SHOW!!!

CD REVIEW:
Aaron Amin- Your CD is finally complete contrast from everything else I've been getting. I'm stoked on it dude. Thank you for putting some Mammoth Grinder from back in the "goes to college..." days.  


Once my schedule gets back to normal, my posts will be better to read and make more sense. Sorry dudes.

Bowling For Soup = Greatest Band Ever.

Spring Break Part 1

So far my spring break has been bad ass.  Don't have a single complaint.  My homies in Japan get to play a giant game of hide and go seek with their families, Charlie Sheen is getting some things off his chest, and my dog fell in the pool... and stayed there for like 3 hours.  LET'S BE HONEST! Whoever photoshopped a godzilla into the pictures of all this japanese destruction is GENIUS! That's funny. If you don't think that's funny, then I'm sorry you have morals or something stupid like that.  Shit happens, that's life.  They get earthquakes and tsunamis, I get humidity and fast talking houston rappers.  Everyone suffers.  I'm just scared this is going to set back the drop date for the next Nintendo release. I hear the new DS has a 3D screen WITH NO GLASSES!?!   As long as those snow monkeys that live in the mountains and swim in the hot springs are fine, Japan can sink.  They've already brought Sushi and Pokemon to America, so I'm fine with not having anymore Hello Kitty backpacks around.  

As for Charlie Sheen... why is everyone so mad?! He's a mastermind.  He faked one crazy interview, the media went crazy for it, NOW he's in a 10 million dollar lawsuit over the money he's losing from not getting to finish two and a half men?! He wins. Everyone else loses.  Sorry you all thought for a second he was going to stay sane forever. He is the epitome of what every high school white kid with a "Free Weezy" shirt wishes he was. Charlie Sheen gets PAID to Fuck Bitches, Get Money.  You'd do some crazy shit like that too if you're little brother got to play coach Bombay on The Mighty Ducks and all you got to do was kill yourself in the first 3 minutes of Scary Movie 3. 

I'm getting tattooed tomorrow night, VERY stoked on finally progressing with this side piece.  Strangely enough I've been confronted with a lot of tattoo talk lately.  I just want everyone to know that you don't need some deep meaning to get a tattoo.  Stop worrying about it, and STOP asking what mine mean.  It's a bear on my chest (looks like a wolf, got that).  If you must know, my mother is a Kodak Bear.  That's why I'm so good at fishing with my hands and I freak out when I see a Charmin Ultra Soft commercial.  And if anyone tries to tell you "nah, didn't hurt at all, I'm not a pussy" Tell them Zach Chad bets them they cry when their parents die, so yeah... they're a pussy.  TATTOOS HURT! Stop trying to be tough just so you can see what's under some high school chick's target bra.  They all hurt, they all suck. I can't explain why their fun to get, they just are.  

The show FC played was a blast the other night. So much love from everyone, it was amazing. I even got a CD from another blog reader.  

Natalie Garcia - Thank you for finding me at the show and giving me the CD. You're note was sweet and I truely appreciate you supporting my shitty band. As for your mix, IT'S GREATT!!! Seriously, you had an amazing lineup on there. Great bands, all great songs, and once Driver F came on I realized you're a bomb ass chick.  SIDENOTE: This is the second CD that I've gotten with Bodybag by Hit The Lights on it. I've never listened to this band but that song is now forever stuck in my head. 

Lastly, I went to the beach today. Check my photos on facebook for the in depth fun, but all you need to know is my smooth talking with the shore girl got me this sweet custom printed shirt:

I'm Jesus... Come at me bro. 

What is a politic?

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Hell of a weekend

This weekend has been insane.  There is no other way to describe it.  I haven't stopped moving till right now.  For anyone who gives a shit what I did, read on.

Thursday night I got to eat dinner with a good friend and watch a movie that apparently I've been missing out on after all these years called "Almost Famous".  I'd only barely heard of it and never seen it, but I have to say it was great.  AND SUCH AN AMAZING CAST!  Never thought I'd see Jason Lee in there. Did you guys know he's a professional skateboarder? Such a rad dude.

Friday I ate some super good Chinese food at Bamboo Garden for my friend Long's 20th birthday.  I love lo mien.  It's soo good! I also love the entire atmosphere of an Asian Restaurant.  So much dragon art and wood carvings, I get to remind myself I'm a goofy sheep on the Chinese calendar, and I love when my waiter looks like he'd be straight out of backwoods China and like he would speak nothing but Bruce-Lee tongue, then BAM! he sounds more american that Burt Reynolds.  After the dinner I attended a 90's party with a good group of people from all over.  Not sure if you can tell from my picture, but I was wearing black jeans, red tanktop, and black suspenders.  You know who wore that combo from the 90's?

Duke Nukem (minus the fanny pack)

Then Saturday came.  It was a huge day for me.  Hardest hitting rugby game I've played all year.  I'm not going to get into specifics about how I scored all the tries and everyone out there made some great tackles and an amazing job keeping MSU from scoring a try and blah blah blah, I'm just gunna leave this picture to ge the message across.

Undefeated.

That night was a good time as well. After running out to Buda, TX for some quick scenes for the Thieves video, then getting some Froyo with some friends, I got to go to the ever so eventful rugby celebration.  Never fails to be a hoot.  If I had to tag a video of saturday night's party online, here would be some keywords:
            Beads, Bubbly, Crutches, Dudes hittin on crippled chicks, Puke, Less than attractive make outs, More Puke, Trollin, Yelling for no reason, Illustrations, Birthday Kisses for Mike, and "I just found your purse  and your phone for you... why are you being a bitch to me?"

Sunday you would think I got to slow down, but I didn't.  Got up and drug my ass all the way to west campus to shoot some final scenes for the Thieves Video on the roof of some apartment. The shot looked great:

Unfortunately not enough extras showed up to do the final scene, but no worries. We are in the midst of replanning and rescheduling so when the details come out and we need all you losers to come stand around and look cool, I'll let you know.

After that I went to an interview for the newspaper about the game then stopped by Emo's to checkout Set Your Goals.  Always a good show. I'm glad they haven't sold out or given up. I just feel bad for them because they want so badly to be a hardcore band, but no matter how man Trapped Under Ice shirts they wear or Down To Nothing riffs they check their guitars with, they will always be pop punk.

ONTO THE INTERESTING SHIT (this is a really long blog but fuck it, for once I'm getting to re-cap instead of just rant about stupid shit you guys don't agree with). I GOT A CD IN THE MAIL!  I've gotten a couple CD's from friends that see me on the reg, but this one is the greatest thing and made me smile:

This is awesome.  Some random person that I DO NOT KNOW, somehow found my blog and wrote me an anonymous letter and mailed me a CD. All I know is they are from Louisiana and they care enough about me to send me things. I haven't listened to it yet because I just woke up and checked the mail, but before I review it just know that whoever you are, you're already an amazing person for making me smile on a monday morning.  You rule! <3

That's it folks. I'll make an effort to post again tomorrow. I gotta go shave. (finally).

Define Dirty

It's Friday, I ain't got no job (in Austin), I ain't got shit to do! ...... Except slave to my laundry room.  I hate washing clothes so much!  It's such a hassle.  I'm not a girl, but I own a lot of clothes.  Thus, I make the mistake of burning through a good solid 3 weeks of clothing until I'm left with one pair of briefs and a crusty tanktop. Then it's time to do laundry. BUT WHY?!?! What makes pants 'dirty'?  I'm not out there rolling around in dirt or giving lap dances to junkies.  I just wear them to school and sit my ass in the same desk as everyone else.  And if my statistics are correct that the St. Edwards girl to guy ratio is 7 to 2, AND if stereotypes exist leaving girls to be way more hygenic and clean than boys, how is sitting around after them getting my jeans nasty?  Even if I sit after a guy, chances are he was gay, which makes him just as clean (if not cleaner) than a girl.  [Keep in mind there is no negative connotation there against the homosexual community.  I support them in every way.  If you told me I never had to deal with periods, emotions, constant complaining, insecurity, jealousy, lack of physical ability, double standards, and annoying pointless stories ever again, I'm pretty sure I could handle shopping at Nordstroms and listening to t.A.T.u. for the rest of my life]  And so what if I 'wear that jacket everyday'. It's comfortable and warm.  I'm not going to wash it and lose a day of wearing it for risk of getting a watch tanline.  And I don't care about how dirty my underwear are, I'm not changing them for 3 days. That's just how I roll.  It only gets funky and stinky down there when "all these bitches crawl".

I love kids.  I'm not going to deny that I wanna be a dad RIGHT NOW!  I know it's no time in my life to reproduce, but the thought of hanging out with a baby dude that looks like me all day drops a smile on my face.  I always want to make some extra cash babysitting, but found out quickly that its creepy having a grown man with tattoos and a super skeezy mustache asking to watch someone's kids.  It's a shame all those perverts out there ruin the reputation for respectable people like myself.  So if any of you guys know anyone that needs a babysitter you should let me know.  I'm always down for frozen pizza, Pixar movies, and an early bed time. AND I PROMISE I WON'T PEE ON YOUR KIDS OR ANYTHING WEIRD THAT LIKE! That's why I had to get a job at the YMCA, so I could hangout with people who share the same views on freeze-pops and moonbounces as I do.

See that little boy in the bottom right? His name is Tucker (age 6) and he sports a sweet mullet. No joke, him and I high fived over 60 times that day.  He's on my level! (Except for the fact that I had to help him tie his shoes)

Got state championship game this weekend. If we win, we've completely dominated the state of Texas in Rugby and get to move on to Nebraska for nationals.  Stomach is turning over every minute, but I thrive on it.  Super stoked to do something great with my life.  If you guys get a chance, be out at Burr Field in Austin, TX by 2pm Saturday afternoon.  I can PROMISE you there will be blood and victory.

I am the epitome of hatred.  

Lets get sconed

Today a poor unsuspecting girl decided to stand up from her desk in my Communication Theory class and walk away, leaving a small white bag in plain sight, unguarded and all alone. I'm not sure if any of you have kept up with my blog lately, but if you have you're aware that after being broken into, I have officially decided to start a Reverse-Karma Rampage (bad has been done unto me so it is my turn to inflict bad upon the world).  SO! In one swift motion i swooped in and snatched up that bag.  Upon peaking inside, I saw two words that ALWAYS mean a good time. "Chocolate Chip". I was stoked, cloud 9.  BUT! The joke was on me because once I got to my next class and opened the bag to it's entirety, I discovered is was not a Chocolate Chip COOKIE! But rather a Chocolate Chip Scone -_-

What's the fucking purpose of a scone? Did someone really walk into a bakery and say "create a snack that won't fill me up and makes my mouth super dry".  It's pointless to eat.  What's the main ingredient? Chalk dust?  When I become a parent and my kid is pissing me off, Scones will be dessert every night until he gets off my nerves.  Another stupid treat that I don't understand is the Eclair.... why not just serve me a cream filled donut?  There's no point in making something that small because, let's face it, I'm going to eat 34 of them.  I've learned to just limit myself by just saying "NO!" to small edible treats.  I'm sorry, it's just my personality to not want a single cupcake, but a whole tray instead. If you want a real dessert, I got the hook up from this baketress I know (I think I just made that word up, but I'm officially coining the term. Baketress-a female who prefers to dominate a man's mouth via baked goods and sweets).

S'mores Bars.... You Jelly?

And no, I'm not going to buy anything from your bake sale.  I don't care how cheap it is or what form of payments you take, I'm saving my money for pizza and a cinnamon roll. Get over it.Want a quick scapegoat for anyone trying to sell you some form of food that you're not interested in? (or you just want to spite them cuz you secretly wish you were the one raising money to go to India to help film another Benny Lava music video) ? This is the conversation I use everytime:

Them: "Hey! Would you like to buy a cookie? They're only 1 dollar and the money helps us save cats who get stranded in trees!"

Me: "Does it have any gluten in it?"

Them: "Umm... I don't know. Maybe?"

Me: "Well I have Celiac's Disease and my body can't process the gluten that is in most foods"

Them: "Oh... Yeah, I don't know."

Me: *Walk away... Like a Boss...because I don't have Celiac's Disease....trollface*

 I already got a couple CD's from people:

-Chris Box's was good. Very different and had some great diversity.

-Sara Cowe's made me giggle like a 14 year old girl stuck in the 90's.

-Mike Grider's is more UGHH than you stupid ass Tyler The Creater fans wish you were.

-Carrie Mansfield's makes me want to GRINNNDDD

Anyone who said they would send me a CD and hasn't yet.... just know that I remember EVERYTHING and I won't forget how you let me down, posers. 

This is my friend Juan. He sleeps all day. 

This is my roommate Mike. We went to Steak and Shake.