Marshall Marshall Marshall!!!

Would you rather have glow in the dark veins or constantly have red smoke leak from your nose?  Some of you might go smoke on this one because you're inconsiderate of those who have asthma or might be deathly afraid of smoke bombs.  Sadly for you, I don't agree with your petty ways.  I decided to go with glow in the dark veins. There are so many plus sides!  You will be the biggest hit at any black light party which in turn leads you to get to control the ipod because no one wants to contest the coolest dude in the room over what S Club 7 song to play.  Also, you never have to worry about turning on the light when you have to pee at night. I mean sure, people might get a little annoyed in a movie theater, but who cares! Every time you go to lazer quest you're sure to get the high score AND chances are you will piss off the stupid "Marshall" that you gotta call when your gun starts messing up.  Besides, it would be cool to have a bodily function that isn't embarrassing to find on your hands under a black light...

This past weekend was Easter Weekend (fakest holiday every).  I'm a huge fan of candy, but every thing else is just ridiculous.  Don't tell me I can't eat meat on friday... I love pizza flavored hot pockets and chicken nuggets.  You're not keeping me from them because some guy got caught doing witchcraft and had to be punished.  Then all weekend every TV channel is take over by recaps of biblical eras.  WAS IT REALLY THAT BAD?! Man dies and gets tossed in a cave for three days then gets worship for eternity? Not so bad.  I know people who've done a couple months in jail just to get out and realize everyone still hates them.  And where did the bunnies carrying eggs thing come in?  It doesn't make sense.  How could a rabbit carry a basket 5 times it's size?  And rabbits are mammals, so sorry kids, but they produce other rabbits, not eggs.  Flawed logic.  If I had easter my way, everyone would get visited by a sea lion who delivers one bowl of your favorite cereal.  And then instead of going to church, we would all meet up for bowling and pizza.  And instead of not eating meat on Friday, you had to participate in one organized sport.  Because lets face it, everyones life would be better if we all played street hockey.  

I had to work at Chuys over the weekend so I can pay for tour.  Sorry if your parents give you guys money for easter or just as an allowance, but my mom hates me and I'm forced to serve people shitty mexican food to put gas in my tank.  Also, sorry if you ordered anything off the menu from me and wanted your kind of fish in it, but I lied.  Everyone that asked me for "grilled tilapia" or the "fried bass"... you got catfish. Old, freezer burnt cat fish.  And you probably tipped me for it too.

Some lady tipped me in the word of the lord. She told me just as she pulled away from the To-Go parking spot "It's not too late to find christ!".... Little does she know I already found christ, and I left him with my homosexual young life leader back in 8th grade.  Go shove your religion down someone else's throat, I'll be in hell with Rasputin.