Last night I danced. Dudes at the party who didn't dance, honestly, it sucks to be you. No girl cares about how good you are at beer pong, or if you "don't give a shit, I'm 21. I'll look that cop right in the eyes and take a shot". What women really want is a dude who can stomp and whomp on the dance floor.
After breakin a sweat, a couple of us headed to Steak'n'Shake where my perception of the establishment completely changed. YO LARRY FROM THE CYPRESS STEAK'N'SHAKE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU SHOULD SET YOURSELF ON FIRE YOU MISERABLE DICK. The service was awesome, everything tasted amazing, and we got to meet THE SHAKEMASTER MARGE! I She hooked it up with a Turtle Caramel Nut shake. The only thing I'm left to wonder is that I know what a nut is, and I know what Caramel is. But it begs the question... what the fuck is turtle and why is it in my shake? Did the turtle have a name? What was the turtles zodiac sign? Did it's sign change when my next door neighbor's people goofed up on that calendar they've been boasting about for centuries?
While I was leaving, I discovered that the glass to the crane game was unlocked...
OTTER success level is at about a 2 out of 10 {1/5 for you mathletes) I'm worried that the cold is just too harsh for these little dudes to hatch from their eggs. On the plus side, if they die, I can work on swallowing my pride by admitting that I'm a failed Biologist/Father.
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